Nesting – adoption version

nest
“Nest” by Ro Irving on flickr

So I wondered, when we began the adoption process, if nesting was a hormonal thing or not – would I have that urge? According to wikipedia

Maternal nest-building is regulated by the hormonal actions of estradiol, progesterone, and prolactin. Given the importance of shelter to offspring survival and reproductive success, it is no wonder that a set of common hormonal signals has evolved. However, the exact timing and features of nest building vary among species, depending on endocrine and external factors. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nesting_instinct)

So maybe it’s my obsessive nature, or my tendency to be (as my husband so kindly calls it) an anal nutbag, but I certainly have been nesting! And I’ve realized that adoptive nesting adds another layer to it all. We are set to travel later this week to Kentucky to meet and pick up our soon-to-be-daughter and I’ve been nesting to the extreme LOL. In the 50 days since we found out we were matched we have done the following to prepare our home to house a family of three (or eight if you count the pets – which we do!):

  • cleaned out the old “office”
  • organized every drawer, corner, cabinet and closet in the house (seriously – come over and open ANY door or drawer you want to!! Please!)
  • cleaned the carpets – twice
  • painted the foyer, accent wall in the living room, and the baby’s room
  • had the house “deep cleaned”
  • replaced back door and installed new doggy door
  • purchased, cut and hemmed new curtains for the living room
  • and Gary from HOME WORX (if you’re in the Gwinnett/Walton County area of Georgia – call them! You won’t regret it! Seriously, they’re awesome) is going to finish the outdoor stuff while we’re gone (sodding the yard where the plumbers tore it up – more on that later, pressure washing the exterior of the house and porch, painting the shutters and trim, fixing the deck)
  • can’t forget decorating the nursery!!

So I’d say the house is pretty much ready. But that’s all faced by every parent. Now for the adoption specific part – homestudy paperwork!

When we were matched, we had not even had our first meeting with our homestudy social worker. Our first homestudy had expired years ago so we had to do it all again:

  • 2 dogs, 2 cats and the parrot to the vet
  • we each had to get drug tests, bloodwork, physicals, etc.
  • septic tank inspection – which revealed the need to replace our septic tank (which involved, apparently, digging up the entire backyard)IMG_1380
  • financial paperwork, employment verification
  • procuring letters of reference (which are awesome to re-read when having a bad day! I’m not sure who these people were writing about but they certainly made me and Chris seem like amazing people!)
  • local background checks, GBI and FBI fingerprints (which of course cannot both be done at the same place – that would be too convenient), sex offender registry search, and all that fun stuff
  • meetings and trainings with social worker for adoption education
  • getting copies of our birth certificates and marriage certificate
  • copies of insurance cards, driver’s licenses, passports, etc.
  • I’m sure I’m forgetting some things because I don’t have my checklist in front of me – but once we got all the running around done, documents ordered, forms filled out, etc. – we had to make several copies of everything, send one to the social worker with our homestudy agency, one to the social worker for our expectant birthmother’s agency (since we didn’t go through an agency ourselves, we had to technically apply with that agency once we were matched).

And now there are three days before we leave for our trip. Due to the circumstances of the expectant birthmother and other things, we know that she is scheduled for a C-section between April 21 and 24 but will not know the exact date until the baby is born and ready for us to pick up (potentially 48+ hours after she is born), so our plan is to be there on the 21st so that when we are notified we can get her in our arms as soon as possible. So now we get to pack for the trip, which adds yet another layer to the nesting fun!! Since we don’t know how long we will be there (depends on how long Kentucky and Georgia ICPC paperwork takes to clear, we’ve been told to plan for 2 weeks and it will probably be 7-10 days) and we don’t know how big the baby will be, we are trying to balance “taking enough to be prepared” with “packing light and buying what we need there”.  I tend to be an overpacker anyway, so guess which end we’re leaning toward LOL.  And my reasoning for not buying more there – we have SO much stuff already (I mean, people were incredibly generous at my showers and I’ve been a little of an excited shopper) and I’d hate to buy something there that we already have 20 of at home – seems like a pointless waste of money! Especially since we probably have more than we’ll ever use to begin with. So … here’s what we’re taking (for the baby – this doesn’t include myself, my husband and my mom’s stuff):

11134084_10204099892393306_6669753364595505624_o

  • travel bassinet 
  • boppy and cover
  • wipe warmer
  • travel humidifier
  • brush, nail clippers, nose frida, emery boards
  • baby lotion
  • 2 (14 ct) boxes of disposable wash cloths
  • 2 hooded towels
  • 6 burpcloths
  • 5 blankets
  • 5 swaddling muslins
  • wipe-able changing pad
  • lots of socks, mittens, and infant hats (I didn’t count, just took all of them – they’re tiny and didn’t take up much space LOL)
  • 3 newborn size sleepers
  • 8 gowns
  • 6 newborn onesies and 8 0-3m onesies
  • 4 newborn “outfits” (just because I have four newborn sized and she may be big and only fit in them for a short while and I want to be sure she gets to wear them LOL)
  • all of the newborn and size 1 diapers and wipes that we got for shower gifts (we’re going the cloth route once we get home)
  • a few pacifiers

We packed all of her stuff in wetbags and diaper bags instead of a big suitcase so that we can creatively load the car – mama’s suitcase and our (me and Chris) suitcase take up pretty much the whole back of my little car, so the baby stuff we can kinda put into holes and spots around the suitcases and put under the seats, etc. I figure the diapers can all “ride” in the car seat on the way up because we won’t be bringing them home (and the baby will be in the car seat then LOL). If we can fit it in, I want to take the rock -n- play too – it folds up pretty thin so I hope we can slide it on top of the suitcases!

(Side note: I know that half of what I’m taking is unnecessary and I could definitely get by with much less and that I probably won’t use a lot of what I’m taking. However, I am big on “just in case”, and am decidedly NOT a minimalist, so I’m kindof proud of myself for not packing everything in the nursery!)

What we are going to buy when we get there (to avoid having to find room for it in the car!)

  • diapers and wipes (I know we don’t have enough)
  • disposable bottles (not washing bottles in a hotel!)
  • a little bottle of dreft (and maybe detergent for us too) because we know we’ll need to wash at least once LOL
  • food and drink for us
  • more newborn onesies if she is tiny (I’m taking ALL of the newborn stuff we have), a 0-3 “coming home” outfit if she’s too big for the nb one we’re packing

Now the pet sitter is scheduled to come three times a day, daddy is coming to play with the animals several times so they don’t get lonely and my friend is also coming by to love on them. Car seat is installed, bags are packed, and I think the nest is just about ready!

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